I'll try to help out however I can.
Firstly, the name of the glow map isn't really an issue. The standard practice is to name it the same as the model for which it is intended but with "_i" at the end. Nevertheless, the glow map can have any name, although it's a good idea to keep to the standard practice so that other modders will know what to look for.
What's more important is to "attach" the name of the glow map to the model. There are two ways of doing this that I know of. The easiest way is to use Runnerduck's MDB Cloner to set the name of the model's glow map. A second, somewhat more complicated way is to use 3D modeling software to attach the name of the glow map to the model. In 3DS Max, this is done in the Material Editor by linking the glow map file to the model's Illumination Map. (If you don't use 3DS Max, just stick to the MDB Cloner, and you'll be fine.)
Assuming that your model already has the name of the glow map attached to the appropriate map slot, the only thing left to do is to make sure that the glow map itself is properly laid out with the colors you want as well as an alpha channel. The glow map is usually the same as the diffuse map, except for the alpha channel. In the case of glow maps, the alpha channel should be black in all areas of the texture that are not supposed to glow, and it should be white in those areas that are meant to glow. Shades of gray will not make the texture glow less brightly. It's the colors on the RGB channel that do that. Brighter colors glow more intensely than darker colors.
If you need more info, I can point you to the section of my tutorial on
creating diffuse and glow maps. It's pretty detailed and has lots of pictures to illustrate each step.
